In his new documentary Billy Joel: And So It Goes, which premiered on Wednesday, legendary musician Billy Joel opened up about his struggles with depression and multiple suicide attempts. Now 76, Joel revealed that his mental health took a serious toll following an affair with Elizabeth Weber—the wife of his close friend and musical partner Jon Small.
Joel recounted falling in love with Weber in his twenties while staying at the couple’s home. “Bill and I spent a lot of time together,” Weber said in the film, describing the affair as something that developed gradually. Once suspicions arose, Joel confessed to Small: “I’m in love with your wife.”
“I felt tremendous guilt,” Joel admitted. “They had a child. I felt like I had destroyed a family.” He acknowledged the emotional devastation the affair caused, both for Small and himself, ultimately ending their band, Attila, and their friendship.
The aftermath left Joel in emotional disarray. Homeless and battling despair, he said he began “sleeping in laundromats” and drinking heavily. “I was in a lot of pain… I didn’t see the point in going on. Every day felt the same, and it was unbearable.”
At one point, Joel took a full bottle of sleeping pills given to him by his sister, Judy Molinari, who became visibly emotional recounting the incident in the documentary. “He was in a coma for days. When I saw him in the hospital, he looked lifeless. I thought I had killed him.”
In another suicide attempt, Joel ingested a bottle of lemon Pledge. Despite the breakdown in their relationship, Jon Small rushed him to the hospital. Joel said, “Even though our friendship had collapsed, Jon saved my life.”
Small later reflected, “He never really gave a reason, but maybe he felt such deep remorse because he loved me and couldn’t bear what he’d done. I eventually forgave him.”
Years after the ordeal, Joel and Weber reconnected and married in 1973. Their marriage lasted nearly a decade before ending in 1982.
